Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal movie rating and review

Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal (2007) Movie Rating and Review :
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This is no schoolboy trying to get smart with a classmate. This is Bipasha Basu’s locker-room tack with John Abraham in Vivek Agnihotri’s second film after Chocolate. In what is one of the most poorly-written big films in a long time, the dialogues in Goal are so amateurish that a clichéd sport film often unintentionally raised a laugh.

Reworked largely from Oliver Stone’s Any Given Sunday, Goal seems to be a bad, bad beta version of Chak De! India because the Shimit Amin film is still fresh in our minds. Yes, there’s the disgraced coach with a teary back story a la Kabir Khan, there’s intra-team rivalry between the two best players a la Preeti Sabarwal and Komal chautala and, of course, the glorious return from the dead of the worst soccer team in the history of the game. But without a proper script trying it all together, Goal is like a baby in a topless bar (Sidhuism, of course).

The premise? A bunch of losers playing for South Hall United Football club, who find it difficult to even score a same-side goal, must win the trophy to save their club grounds from being turned into yet another London lifestyle zone. Their best player is captain Shaan (Arshad) who can bend a free kick or two. Enter a coach with a past Tony Singh (Boman), a striker with a future Sunny Bhasin (John), a doctor with a smile Rumana (Bipasha)… and suddenly everyone’s chanting Dhan dhana dhan dhan dhana dhan.

Goal is even shot so badly (Atarsingh Saini) that you wonder what Team Agnihotri was doing in London for four months. There is no single set-piece on the soccer field that is shown in one fluid motion, just loose one-player shots stitched together. Add to the mujras, people dancing with walking sticks and product placements every second minute and you feel like running back home and turning on ESPN, instead.

John tries his best with his two-and-a-half expressions but he continues to be found wanting in the emotional scenes. Bipasha as the salwar-kameez wearing behna is quite a disaster and if this is, as she claims, more like her real-life fun-and-banter chemistry with John, then let’s just say Saif and Vidya are two lucky people! Arshad Warsi is not really interested in what is happening. Of the rest of the XI, Raj Zutshi brings on a laugh or two (intentionally, for once). Boman again is the best thing about yet another forgettable film, and his scene with John in the rain is the only one worth mention. Somewhere in that three-hour-long mumbo jumbo there is one full-blown liplock between John and Bipasha, but honestly that’s not worth the ticket to Goal. Buy the Jism DVD instead.

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